


No Mobile Phones!

by TheArtStudentYouHate



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 09:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8244205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheArtStudentYouHate/pseuds/TheArtStudentYouHate
Summary: Jeffery Keene cannot seem to catch a break this week. Between the telemarketers and the traffic, he must have pissed off someone somewhere.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [janto321 (FaceofMer)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaceofMer/gifts).



> This is for Janto321 who has been having a bit of a rough go of it these past few days. I wrote this awhile ago and figured I should probably post it. When I mentioned this idea to Janto, she said and I quote "I would read that shit out of that." So, here. Have fun reading the shit out of this.

“Goddamnit! Again?” Jeffery Keene slapped his hands on the steering wheel as he watched the car in front of him drive off after getting the shortest green light he had ever seen. “It’s like they have it out for me.”

He had managed to catch every single red light on his drive to work and they seemed to be getting longer while the green lights were getting shorter. This last one had let one bloody car through. It was infuriating. Of course if that wasn’t enough there had been some construction that his top of the line sat nav hadn’t informed him of, even though it was supposed to be aware of any and all construction. “Have to call the fucking company and give them a piece of my fucking mind," he grumbled.

He stared at the clock and grit his teeth finally releasing a growl. He was going to be late for his new job at this rate. He was sick of this bloody awful day. Come to think of it, it had been an awful week. Which was even worse because he had been so sure that it was going to be such a great week. He had gotten the email that he was going to get this new job. A temporary job, but it paid so well that who the hell cared. He had decided to celebrate and take his girlfriend out to this swanky new spa. Which had been great. Until he got sloshed on expensive cocktails.

Looking left and right to make sure no one would see him enter the intersection. _Fuck it,_ he thought and drove through the red light. 

That was when an undercover police car decided to make its presence known.

“Fucking hell,” Jeff muttered as he pulled over. He sat there steaming as the police officer took his sweet time to get out of his car.

“License and registration, sir.” The silver-haired police officer said. Jeff noticed that he was also wearing a casual suit, rather than his police uniform. Jeff handed over his papers and tried to smile at the officer.

“Hey. Sorry about that back there, I’ve just been having a bit of bad luck with the lights today and I’m late for my new job as is.”

“That is unfortunate, but running a red light is still against the law.” The officer lifted his sunglasses to look into the car. That was when Jeff realized that he had seen him before, but couldn’t place where.

“God. You look so familiar. You don’t have it out for me do you?” He tried joking half-heartedly.

“Of course not, sir. Just doing my job.” The cop didn’t smile.

“You also don’t look like a copper.”

“I’m a D.I.” He said while writing out the ticket.

“This isn’t quite your division than, is it?”

“Keeping the people of London safe, no matter the crime is my division, sir.” The inspector handed over the ticket. Jeff looked at it and gaped.

“A hundred bloody pounds for going through a red light?! There was nobody even in the intersection!”

“That’s the penalty, sir. If you wish to fight it, you can always take it to court.”

“Listen here, you twat, I don’t know why you decided to try to ruin my day, but I’m not paying this fucking ticket. That’s fucking ridiculous.”

“Here you go.” The officer handed over another ticket. “That’s another £100 for refusing to pay the ticket.”

“Fuck you. I’m working for one of the most powerful men in the country, I’ll have your fucking badge for this.” Jeff was near foaming at the mouth and was seeing red.

“Of course, sir. Although, you did mention that you were late for your first day on the job.”

“FUUUCK!” Jeff grit his teeth and almost tore the steering wheel apart.

“Have a good day, sir. Try not to run any more red lights.” The office turned with a smirk and walked back to the car. Jeff drove off, careful to not go above the speed limit.

_Great. Just fucking great. First I get me and Cassandra kicked out of that spa ‘cause some posh wanker didn’t like the fact that I was taking pictures on my phone because that fucking rule is sooooo fucking important. Than that telemarketer won’t stop fucking calling me to the point where I have to change my fucking phone number and now I get a £200 ticket to top it all off._

His internal monologue wouldn’t stop the entire rest of the way to work.

 _All because of that posh twat who must think the sun shines out of his arse. “Sir. They have a no mobile phone policy here and I cannot afford to be in any pictures you are taking.”_ Jeff remembered the way the man looked down his nose at him.

 _“Listen, Mate. I’ve spent 300 quid to take my girlfriend out today and I’ll take some fucking pictures if I want. Just ‘cause you don’t want your wife to see you’ve got some bit on the side,”_ He had gestured to the tanned, silver haired man the posh bloke had been holding hands with earlier, _“doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t have a good time with my girlfriend. Fucking entitled prick," he_  had slurred.

That was when they had kicked him out.

Now Cassandra was pissed off at him and he would honestly be surprised if she stuck around for much longer and he was going to have to beg on hands and knees to keep this job and it was all because of that toft. That fucking poncy git who should have sodding minded his own fucking business.

Finally, he had arrived at the headquarters of his new job. He quickly parked wherever he could and ran towards his new boss’s office. He took a second to breathe before knocking on the door.

“Come in," said the voice that presumably was his boss. A Mr. Mycroft Holmes. He had never actually met the man. Somebody else had conducted the interview. Jeff opened the door and walked in.

“Hello, sir. I’m sorry I’m late. I ran into some construction and then caught every single red light on the way…” Jeff drifted off as Mr. Holmes looked up from his paper work. He stared at Jeff coolly and no bit of mercy or understanding could be seen on his face. Jeff thought that he looked terribly familiar.

“I expect perfect punctuality with all of my staff Mr. Keene.”

“Yes, sir. It won’t happen again, sir.”

“No, it won’t.” Mr. Holmes folded his hands together on the desk in front of him. Jeff hadn’t the foggiest clue what to say, so he just stared back. Finally, he gathered a bit of courage, licked his lips and took a deep breath.

“Mr. Holmes, sir. Is there anything you would like me to do?”

“Yes. Actually. I need you to book me and my spouse a day at the spa. I went recently and due to an unfortunate circumstance I couldn’t relax.”

“Right, sir. The… the spa did you say?” Mycroft just stared at him.

“Yes. I had gone a few days ago, but there was somebody causing trouble in regards to the no mobile phone policy.”

“Shit,” Jeff mumbled to himself. “Sir, I am so sorry. I had no idea and I… I had too much to drink and I…”

“He finally puts it together.”

“I didn’t mean any of those things I said. You know how it is. I mean you’re not really a… a… what did I call you?”

“A fucking entitled prick.” Mycroft supplied helpfully.

“Right. I mean obviously, you aren’t that and your friend that was with you…”

“I believe you referred to my husband as my ‘bit on the side’.”

“Husband. Fuck.” He grumbled to himself. “I’d fucking bet he was the copper who pulled me over.” He said to himself, although Mycroft was in a very helpful mood, so he happily supplied the answer.

“Yes. My Husband is the D.I. who pulled you over this morning and who you threatened to take his badge.”

“Right. Well, I’ve really fucked this one up haven’t I?”

“If one were to use such language, then yes. That’s quite correct.”

“Guess you’ll be looking to fill this position than.”

“Yes. My P.A. is currently on Maternity leave and it’s been a hell of a time trying to replace her. See, the first rule of the job is make sure I don’t end up in any pictures.”

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came about because I actually work at a spa with a very strict no cell phone policy and there's somebody who comes in fairly frequently who has a high profile job and says that they choose this spa because of the no phone policy, so of course I'm convinced that they are the Mycroft Holmes of Canada. Well anyway, one time these ladies were taking selfies on their phones and this person told them that there is a no phone policy and they said "we know" and I love to think how these ladies would react if they knew that they just tried to tell off the most important person in the country. So, I wrote this thing. I hope that you liked it.


End file.
